I am a sweet treat mom. Every time we are out and about, I want a refreshing beverage to get me through my errands. This habit has, of course, been observed and adopted by my four year old son who eagerly requests a Gatorade Propel every time I mention stopping for coffee. This frequent request opened my eyes to the example I was setting for my son, which isn’t necessarily a bad or good one. But it did show me that while I am modeling indulgence to him, I need to also model restraint—still working on that one.
My son, like most young children, has already begun to realize that money has value; just how much, he still has yet to understand. He gleefully adds every dollar bill he is ever given to his tri-fold Spider-Man wallet, as well as every promo “credit card” we receive in our piles of junk mail. He is very proud of how much he has amassed, but he is also happy to hand out his dollar bills to friends or cousins when they come to the house or place money in offering at church. I viewed this as him having a healthy understanding that it’s good to share and give.
So one day, when I decided we would go to the coffee shop so I could complete some work, he remembered that the coffee shop served delicious, freshly-squeezed lemonade. I explained to him that we were going to treat ourselves today, but since he had already had a Propel to drink earlier that day, he could buy his own lemonade from money he had been given or “earned.” He didn’t hesitate; he sprinted to his room and retrieved his wallet.
When we arrived at the coffee shop, I explained to the cashier that he would be buying his own lemonade that day. He gave her his order, and she rang up a total of $3.87. I told my son that since he didn’t have exact change, we would give her four dollars, and she would hand change back to him. He pulled a stack of nearly $20 in ones out of his wallet and placed a single dollar on the counter, proceeding to return the remaining bills in his wallet. I stopped him and said, “No, she needs four, sweetie. Not just one.” So I helped him count out three more and added the original $1 to a neat stack to hand to the cashier, but he quickly snatched one away and placed it back on the counter to, again, return the $3 to his wallet. I calmly explained that he would need to give her the additional $3, and he finally complied—with his face scrunched into a pout before he walked away to choose a seat.
The funny part is that the cashier forgot to ring up his lemonade and my coffee separately, so in the end, I paid with my card and later returned the dollar bills to his wallet while he was preoccupied with his baby brother. To his knowledge, he spent $3.87 on a lemonade. Between you and me, I got bamboozled.
The Goal of Teaching the Value of Money to Kids
The goal was not to upset him or even let him think that mom and dad won’t buy him anything. It was to teach him that when he asks for something—a sweet treat, a toy, a drink—it costs something. And sometimes, spending money hurts. That’s why we have to decide what’s worth our money and—subsequently—worth our time and labor.
Even at four years old, he’s understanding that money has value; he’s certainly not stockpiling it in his wallet and treasuring it because it means nothing to him. If he’s capable of understanding that, I believe he’s capable of understanding the concept of exchanging it for goods and services. And as I witnessed, he’s capable of feeling the little tinge of pain when you have to spend it.
He hasn’t forgotten this because even now when he talks about wanting something, I’ll occasionally ask him, “Are you going to spend your money on that?” He gives me a serious look as he ponders the idea of giving his own money in exchange for the item or experience he desires. Sometimes, he says, “yes,” other times, it’s an emphatic, “NO.” Already, he’s starting to understand what he values—and what he doesn’t.
The Intended Outcome
The hope by doing this early on is not only that he understands the value of money but is grateful when others spend their time, money, labor and resources on him. I hope he learns that “thank you” is not just something to be said but that genuine appreciation is important. I want our kids to have grateful hearts and, in turn, generous with their own resources, time, and abilities.
I believe those efforts start today.
(Personal essay by Annie Boyd Sowell)
